i originally started brainstorming this project as a sister quilt to my ToBeHonest quilt. i wasn't quite sure the statement i wanted to make, yet; but i knew it would be slightly more subtle than the first.
if you follow me on Instagram, you know that one of the hashtags i use often on my selfies is "#pixieisastateofmind". on the inside and outside, i embrace my own pixie-ness; which Urban Dictionary defines as: a beautiful, sexy, ebullient, graceful, captivating, petite woman with short hair (...Though she was the smallest of the group of women, her beauty and style made her the most noticeable. A true pixie.).
and despite being "a true pixie," i also have also acquired a very bad-ass side.
i find that my bad-ass-ness has very much come from my friends and role-models, all unique and distinctly themselves in their own ways, and very much unafraid of who they are. to me, thats the definition of being a badass. unapologetic. cool. tough. very much whatever, hence being sisters with the #TBHquilt.
my number one bad-ass role model is hands down hayley williams. anyone who knows me even remotely well knows this to be true. this quilt took on a whole new life when i met her a month ago.
things that have always been important to me about her, aside from her voice and bad-ass music, is that she always comes across as tough and dainty at the same time. she holds her faith close and doesn't make a secret of it but its subtle, woven into lyrics and her tattoos. she dresses the way she wants to - bouncing back and forth between girly and edgy punk effortlessly. she does what she wants with her hair, she's no kardashian. for ladies like me who always feel just outside of the current trends and don't have the body shape for a lot of styles, its so comforting to see that ripped jeans and leather jackets can be sexy.
my mom describes hayley as my "kindred spirit", and upon meeting her i knew that to be true. she was approachable, told ME that I was adorable (what?!), and commented on my "awesome skirt". i could barely get two words out but that seemed so crazy to me - my fashion idol commenting on an outfit that took me days to choose, and when i look back at it now i think what the hell i have wayyyy cooler clothes in my closet. i don't remember a lot of the few minutes i spent getting that photo taken, because honestly it was so fast and i was still so surprised that it was even happening (i didn't know i'd be doing this until just beforehand - thanks Kyle!).. but i remember looking at her glittery eyeshadow and thinking that i'd just hit the life jackpot. she was down to earth, and i think in the entertainment industry its very bad-ass to be able to stay that way.
i'd been through some crappy emotional stuff in the previous month or two, a lot of it self-made but some of it just circumstantial. life is all over the place here these days, as you can imagine. but, a friend of mine made the comment that it was just "movement", and it put it into perspective for me really quickly - all of the shitty dumb stuff that i'd felt up until that very second was bringing me to one of the most important and comforting moments of my entire life thus far. and strangely, just a few months before embarking on a huge life change.
i had originally planned to make the skull orange, and the background black & red somehow. but once i started to see her hair transition from bright orange to turquoise, i knew that i had to use those colors. the quilt had suddenly changed from a typical skull quilt to a secret emotional hommage, much like a lot of my other projects.
and so, the quilt went from being a plain old punk skull to being a BAD-ASS reminder for me: that i'll always have that moment to take with me regardless of where i go.
...and that being a pixie bad-ass is pretty much the best thing. i can't imagine myself being any other way. somedays its harder than others to be confident and strong - but i think a lot of times, for me, bad-ass-ness is on the inside. sometimes i don't show it on the outside. its a work in progress. much like this quilt, which is now only half done.
so, secretly this quilt means a lot to me as a person & artist - but i think when its finished it will be very much like its sister - a bold quilt with a lot to say. i'm not quite sure of all the words yet, but i'm sure there will be some.
if you want to see what makes me feel bad-ass and inspires me, check out my current favorite Pinterest board that i've been adding to regularly.